SHADOW WORK
Stop forcing the light. Instead, let us become reconciled to the shadows within before we can be reconciled to the shadows in the outer world. Only the acknowledgment of our own fears, triggers, narcissism, hate, and every other unappealing, rejected, denied or devalued part of ourselves can prevent the same reenactment of pain. “Love and light” spirituality is a symptom of the deep unacknowledged, dishonoured, and unresolved aspects of ourselves. Parts that have not had one witnessing it in a safe, tender, and accountable way.
Embracing Your Darkness: Trusting Your Magic and Your Voice
The following is an article transcribed from a conversation between myself (Mimi Young) + June "Jumakae" Kaewsith of Your Story Medicine Podcast; the episode "Embracing Your Darkness: Trusting Your Magic and Your Voice". Main topics discussed included why embracing our darkness is just as important as embracing our light; freeing yourself from the anti-aging culture, and stepping into a pro-aging lifestyle; and how to use dreams to explore dormant parts of ourselves. (Note, since this originally was a verbal interview, some of the text may have been lost / mis-edited in the transcription. I provide a link to the podcast at the end of this article).
THE ROAD TO HEALING IS NOT THROUGH A SAVIOUR, BUT THROUGH A DEVIL
We must become reconciled to the shadows within before we can be reconciled to the shadows in the outer world. Only the acknowledgment of our own fears, triggers, narcissism, hate, and every other appalling, rejected, or denied part of ourselves can prevent the same reenactment of pain. Enough of “love and light” spirituality. Stop forcing the light. It’s about giving space for the darkness to be seen and heard. That’s why the darkness has been relegated there in the first place, because she wasn’t received with acceptance.
THE DEATH MOTHER AND MY SELF IMAGE
There was a time when I believed I was so unattractive, that I avoided looking in a mirror and being photographed at all costs. The reminder of how I felt I looked was untouchably painful. This was my reality for all my adolescence and twenties. It had nothing to do with my waist size as I have always been slim, and I say this because while some may think that thin women have less to work through with their self image and self confidence, it was certainly not the case for me.
SENSING IN THE DARK
This Mercury Rx that has asked us to turn inwards, to swim in murkiness, to let uncertainty take the lead, to lose not in the sense of not winning, but losing in the sense of surrendering to ending cycles and embracing conditions of re-membering, redirection, and re-creation. This work is not just for Autumn and Winter. In fact, for me, this type of inner work often takes place during the Summer. Seasons aren't fixed and our internal landscapes do not just hold one archetype at a time. We can be Maiden, Mother, Wise Woman of varying degrees, of varying expressions, at varying times. Yes, we can enter internal rites of passages and initiations, but embodying archetypes need not be linear. They almost always demand incubation periods that involve some form of loss and surrender.
JOURNEYING WITH THE DEVIL
It isn't often that we willfully want to meet the Devil, but that is what I did. Last year, I was working deeply with my shadow side and led by the Light, I was told to embark on a shamanic journey to meet the infamous figure, the Horned Goat.
I was at first terrified at the thought. My mother had raised the latter half of my childhood/adolescence in evangelical Christianity, and I was duly part of church life for a number of years. I may have since left that life, but the cellular memory and conditioning, to a certain degree, had remained. What if I died during the journey? What if the Devil tempted me with a nectar so sweet that I couldn't refuse? What if the Devil blackmailed me? What if he threatened to harm my children? What if I decided to cross over and join him in hell? What if, what if, what if?!!
UNDER THE NEW MOON: DECOLONIZING, GROWTH, MANIFESTING
Sometimes, my own fears and irrational habits surprise myself. I have internalized oppression of general Chinese/Taiwanese culture (not to mention cultural purging that modern China has experienced) and Christian patriarchy; being a female in a white-centric worldview also adds nuanced complexity. So many painful and limiting layers. So much living small and self-oppression. But I'm hopeful. I think the first step is awareness, then release, and lots and lots of patience and self-love. I find using shamanic and ritual-based practices effective in identifying the limitations as well as work through them. (For those who know me and my work, I’m all about integrating the spiritual with practical, everyday life. Spirituality without real-life application is lip service).