SHADOW WORK
Stop forcing the light. Instead, let us become reconciled to the shadows within before we can be reconciled to the shadows in the outer world. Only the acknowledgment of our own fears, triggers, narcissism, hate, and every other unappealing, rejected, denied or devalued part of ourselves can prevent the same reenactment of pain. “Love and light” spirituality is a symptom of the deep unacknowledged, dishonoured, and unresolved aspects of ourselves. Parts that have not had one witnessing it in a safe, tender, and accountable way.
THE ROAD TO HEALING IS NOT THROUGH A SAVIOUR, BUT THROUGH A DEVIL
We must become reconciled to the shadows within before we can be reconciled to the shadows in the outer world. Only the acknowledgment of our own fears, triggers, narcissism, hate, and every other appalling, rejected, or denied part of ourselves can prevent the same reenactment of pain. Enough of “love and light” spirituality. Stop forcing the light. It’s about giving space for the darkness to be seen and heard. That’s why the darkness has been relegated there in the first place, because she wasn’t received with acceptance.
HOW DO WE HEAL INTERNALIZED COLONIALISM?
Colonialism isn’t just about destroying and taking over an existing local culture, exploiting the land and people, and maintaining domination.
Colonialism is also about eradicating the people’s memories, exploiting and twisting those memories, and ensuring any effective connection to the past is severed so the conquered are left crippled and dependent on the dominating system. Let them forget who they were (past) so they do not know who they ever will be (present and future).This is most noticeable in the myth of the angry, jealous, and punishing, father god who cannot tolerate us having any form of connection to anything / anyone other than himself; he needed to invent an enemy - the devil - as a method to instill fear and preserve amnesia. What signifies the devil may differ, but common symbols are:
JOURNEYING WITH THE DEVIL
It isn't often that we willfully want to meet the Devil, but that is what I did. Last year, I was working deeply with my shadow side and led by the Light, I was told to embark on a shamanic journey to meet the infamous figure, the Horned Goat.
I was at first terrified at the thought. My mother had raised the latter half of my childhood/adolescence in evangelical Christianity, and I was duly part of church life for a number of years. I may have since left that life, but the cellular memory and conditioning, to a certain degree, had remained. What if I died during the journey? What if the Devil tempted me with a nectar so sweet that I couldn't refuse? What if the Devil blackmailed me? What if he threatened to harm my children? What if I decided to cross over and join him in hell? What if, what if, what if?!!
UNDER THE NEW MOON: DECOLONIZING, GROWTH, MANIFESTING
Sometimes, my own fears and irrational habits surprise myself. I have internalized oppression of general Chinese/Taiwanese culture (not to mention cultural purging that modern China has experienced) and Christian patriarchy; being a female in a white-centric worldview also adds nuanced complexity. So many painful and limiting layers. So much living small and self-oppression. But I'm hopeful. I think the first step is awareness, then release, and lots and lots of patience and self-love. I find using shamanic and ritual-based practices effective in identifying the limitations as well as work through them. (For those who know me and my work, I’m all about integrating the spiritual with practical, everyday life. Spirituality without real-life application is lip service).