THE ROAD TO HEALING IS NOT THROUGH A SAVIOUR, BUT THROUGH A DEVIL
We must become reconciled to the shadows within before we can be reconciled to the shadows in the outer world. Only the acknowledgment of our own fears, triggers, narcissism, hate, and every other appalling, rejected, or denied part of ourselves can prevent the same reenactment of pain. Enough of “love and light” spirituality. Stop forcing the light. It’s about giving space for the darkness to be seen and heard. That’s why the darkness has been relegated there in the first place, because she wasn’t received with acceptance.
THE DEATH MOTHER AND MY SELF IMAGE
There was a time when I believed I was so unattractive, that I avoided looking in a mirror and being photographed at all costs. The reminder of how I felt I looked was untouchably painful. This was my reality for all my adolescence and twenties. It had nothing to do with my waist size as I have always been slim, and I say this because while some may think that thin women have less to work through with their self image and self confidence, it was certainly not the case for me.
IT TOOK ME 40 YEARS TO BUY MY 1ST TUBE OF RED LIPSTICK
I am a Taiwanese Canadian woman. The colour Red in traditional Taiwanese culture symbolizes good luck, celebration, distinction, joy, and prosperity. It is the bridal, birthday, and new year's colour. When a womaan dresses in red, it is a sign of respect to her elders and spirits, her ties to honouring her ancestors and tradition, and a symbol that she embodies luck herself. Contrasting this, Red in the West is associated with sex, desire, seduction, menstrual blood, romance, courage, leadership, and danger (but mostly sex). The West deems sex as dirty, and thus, White is very much a preferred colour for a woman to wear, since it signifies purity and on a much more subtler level, obedience, though culture has disguised obedience as elegance. Think of those cotton white sundresses or the bridal dress of the West.
SENSING IN THE DARK
This Mercury Rx that has asked us to turn inwards, to swim in murkiness, to let uncertainty take the lead, to lose not in the sense of not winning, but losing in the sense of surrendering to ending cycles and embracing conditions of re-membering, redirection, and re-creation. This work is not just for Autumn and Winter. In fact, for me, this type of inner work often takes place during the Summer. Seasons aren't fixed and our internal landscapes do not just hold one archetype at a time. We can be Maiden, Mother, Wise Woman of varying degrees, of varying expressions, at varying times. Yes, we can enter internal rites of passages and initiations, but embodying archetypes need not be linear. They almost always demand incubation periods that involve some form of loss and surrender.