There is so much fuss on finding a life partner. (In America, there’s even a multi-billion dollar industry that is misnamed as a “rite of passage” – aka weddings). Though we have come a long way in understanding and exploring the topic of relationships and relationship formats, I have found that in all circles – monogamous and otherwise – that there is this underlying expectation that someone can or is supposed to make us happier. Yes, we know what psychology and spirituality say: that happiness is found within and that we must never expect anybody (or anybodies) to fulfill the impossible feat of treating us like divinity all the time, nonetheless, we crave unconditional love. THOUGH WE DON’T DARE TO SAY IT, and rather, we find ways to distract us from the stark need through workshops, books, counseling, vacations, overtime hours, materialism, mantra work, and metaphysical healing modalities. As if it’s unacceptable to admit that we have an insatiable appetite.
And it is in this burning cold, that I have come to explore this idea, which may be old for many, but it is certainly new for me. Beyond the idea of self love, could it be possible that we are our own highest and most intimate life partner? This is beyond the first and second generations of feminism and eastern faiths – I’m not saying that singleness is the way to enlightment. I’m proposing that despite the sort of defined or undefined relationship(s), what would it look like if we depart from the paradigm of soul mates and life partners as an entity external from ourselves, and take on a different convention – that we are our very own primary soul mate. Naked and alone we enter this world and naked and alone we will depart from it. How would we speak to ourselves, feed ourselves, dress ourselves, teach ourselves, and allow ourselves if we are our own life partner? Would we remind ourselves how special we are? How sexy? How intelligent? How utterly and perfectly imperfect? What would happen to that needy voice within? And the greedy one? How would we respond to light AND shadow? Would we spend the time to really get to know ourselves and woo her? Would we need to protect ourselves if we know that no one can truly harm us? Would our internal, eternal child smile from a sense of tender delight and peaceful security? What would the implications be en masse?
“Until I see another’s behavior with compassion, I have not understood it. This includes myself.” — David Richo
Image credits: @pissaro_tattoo