I was taught as a child (and throughout my life) that giving is “good” and receiving is “bad”. That sharing, especially as a host, is to be extended at lengths that can be defined almost as “at all costs”. Giving / sharing when expected to, when not expected to, as a form of not being able to feel what I feel, or to simply say “no” or even “wait”. I was taught to feel that receiving is greedy, shameful, weak, or that I’m “not good enough”.
The spirits continue to invite me to pause and be still, inviting me to listen to the words that are not being said, because what’s not being said are critical details that have been deliberately omitted from stories that were taught to us when we were young. In this case, how giving and receiving have omitted details in their greater story.
I continue to learn how sharing and receiving are not from single actions, and that when sharing and receiving take place, we can experience them simultaneously,I continue to learn that receiving is a courageous thing to do (and be), as it means we are in states of softening, vulnerability, and trust. That it has nothing to do with greed or shame.
I continue to ask myself when I give, is it because it’s rooted in a much needed identity, out of fear or potential anxiety, or obligation. I am reminded when giving comes from my inner depths, it feels genuine, joyous and exciting.
When I resist receiving, I ask myself what layers of distrust, self-loathing, or inner judgement associated with my identity that remains.This two companions, Sharing and Receiving, have been part of my spirit communication life. How they are woven with prayers and devotions are ever present.
I’ve spoken a fair bit about prayer in my animist-magick practice, but I wonder if you can feel through the screen and sense my relationship with devotion? For me, devotion is a way to relate through beauty and love, not because I always find my life beautiful or lovely, but precisely because I know it can be. To approach daily responsibilities, difficult conversations, situations that lack closure or clarity, to vexes and frustrations, through a sense of devotion have softened and opened me, and when I notice I am softening, it softens me even more. To approach life from an energy of devotion can bring ease and restoration, enhance magick and spirit connection, and helped me navigate change. Devotion as a way to explore and reimagine my purpose. Devotion beyond physical altars; devotion as life. There is something deeply reciprocal and circular— life is meant to be shared, not withheld; life is meant to be received, not denied.
Back to receiving, giving, and sharing. I very much would like to spend time with you. You, specifically. I would love to pray and devote to the Seen and the Unseen together.
The PRAYERS + DEVOTIONS IN ANIMISM series begins April 3. Tuition is sliding scale, AND I also am offering Partial Scholarships. I do not ask for proof of financial hardship for you to receive one. Just email me and ask.
Founder, spirit communicator and Wu shamanic occultist